My Head is About to Explode

So as I usually do I hit up Drudge to peruse the headlines and I read two that instantly made the pressure in my head skyrocket.

The first:

John Edwards: 'Pretty Soon' All Young African-American Men Will Be Dead or in Prison...

The second:

A BOND IN EVERY BASSINET: HILLARY PROPOSES $5,000 FOR EVERY U.S. BABY

Hillary was talking to a black group of course. Without even clicking the links these things just make me insane. Check out the Edwards link. His overwhelming stupidity is illustrated so concisely and professionally that I can add nothing to it.

Hillary's asinine idea is the real kicker for me. Where the hell are we going to get the money to pay for these bonds? I mean you would think even the stupidest socialist would see what a ridiculous ponzi scheme this would be. First of all she uses the word bonds. This is of course commutard-speak for, we will pay for it later. It is SSI with no funding, for the perfectly able bodied. The fact that a lot of Americans actually consider her a real candidate for President is beyond frightening. This class/racial warfare is going to be our undoing.

Here is a cluepon. Maybe, just maybe working American families could save up some money if you damn communists would quit taxing them to death. Maybe they could pay for college if they weren't having to subsidize all the illegal alien's in state tuition, and the myriad of asshated classes our esteemed academiticians come up with.

Between this hair-brained scheme, Hillarycare 2.0, and the myriad of other socialist programs the hyperwench has stored up in that addled brain of hers, we may as well all just quit working now. Why work when the government can pay you to sit on your butt?

Edited to add: Holy CRAP! I forgot to include this gem.

"I think it's a wonderful idea," said Rep. Stephanie Stubbs Jones, an Ohio Democrat who attended the event and has already endorsed Clinton. "Every child born in the United States today owes $27,000 on the national debt, why not let them come get $5,000 to grow until their 18?"

Come get? What? This is like some unintelligible morse code that I just don't comprehend! So they owe $27,000, which is a questionable statement to begin with, so let's saddle them with $5,000 more, oh yeah, plus interest! Oh the horror.

What a completely stupid idea! Whoever at Time came up with this should be fired immediately, or better yet beaten with rolled up newspapers about the head.