Monday, April 23, 2007

One Square Only

Her Excellency Sheryl Crow has decided we should only use one square of asswipe per sitting. This will of course save the world from the Goracle's global frying monster. She does concede that 2 or 3 squares would be OK occasionally, but only if necessary. Personally, I would rather just go commando with my hand, rather than use one square. What is one square gonna do for ya? Is double ply OK for use, or do we have to try to split the layers?

Her and Laurie David are riding a bio-diesel bus across the country to heighten awareness about global warming. Apparently they are blogging as well. This is when Sheryl floated the finger poking through plan. The response so far has been fairly predictable. Most people laugh, and call her names, while others show the typical hypocrisy displayed by the Disciples of the Goracle, by examining her tour bus fleet, etc.

Laurie David penned a gem, when she complained of having to jog in 'forty degree freezing weather' while in Dallas in April. She decided that since it was 70 in January, and 40 in April, global warming was the cause. We Texans chuckle at such fool-speak of course. The cool snap she referred to is actually known as an Easter Snap here in Texas, and has occurred quite often as long as anyone can remember.

UPDATE: I did not realize Laurie David was such a superstar in the Ecoloon community. She apparently produced the Goracle's Powerpoint presentation. Maybe they used the same kind of research in it as she did on her jogging expedition.